Let me tell you something, kiddo. Iâve lived through more âInternetsâ than Iâve had pets, and Iâm here to report that Internet 3.0 is shaping up to be the biggest crock of digital horse doodoo yet.
Internet 1.0? Ah, the good old days. You typed something into a box, hit Enter, and the whole worldâs knowledge came tumbling out like a busted piñata. Free. Open. Wild. You could wander around like a raccoon in a campground, rummaging through whatever you wanted. Granted, the pickings were slim but they were free.
Internet 2.0? Thatâs when the suits showed up. Suddenly everything had a shopping cart, a login screen, and a Terms of Service longer than the Dead Sea Scrolls. But fine â we got used to it. We clicked ads, we bought things, we pretended social media was âconnecting usâ instead of turning us into lemmings.
But now? Now weâre marching straight into Internet 3.0, where you donât even use the internet anymore. Your virtual assistant does it for you. You just sit there like a confused grandpa in a selfâdriving car, hoping it doesnât decide to take you to the dentist instead of the grocery store.
And the browser? Forget it. The browserâs going the way of floppy disks and phone books. In Internet 3.0, the assistant fetches everything â if itâs allowed to fetch anything at all.
Because hereâs the kicker:
All the websites are slamming the door shut on AI.
Theyâre putting up paywalls, toll booths, velvet ropes, and probably a bouncer named Billy who says, âSorry bro, no AIs allowed unless theyâre on the VIP list.â
And whoâs on the VIP list?
The Frontier labs and hyperscalers.
The big boys. The cloud titans. The folks who already own half the internet and are working on the other half.
Theyâre the only ones who can afford the new âAI browsing fees,â which will probably cost more per month than my first house. Meanwhile, the little guy â the indie dev, the hobbyist, the tinkerer â gets told:
âSorry, pal. You canât afford to look at the data anymore. But donât worry â weâll rent it back to you at 10Âą per token.â
Itâs the same story every generation. Somebody invents something cool, everybody gets excited, and then the corporate types swoop in like seagulls at a beach picnic and steal all the sandwiches.
And Google? Oh, Googleâs in a pickle. Theyâve gotta sacrifice their precious Search traffic â the thing that made them rich enough to buy entire zip codes â just so they can stay in the game. Theyâre out here saying:
âSure, Gemini can answer your question directly. We didnât need those ad clicks anyway. Ha ha. Ha⊠ha⊠oh no.â
Because if they donât get ahead of this, the Frontier labs will eat their lunch, their dinner, and probably their browser too.
So here we are, marching bravely into Internet 3.0:
- No browser
- No open web
- No free information
- Just assistants
- Just paywalls
- Just hyperscalers selling back the data they scraped from us in the first place
And you know what?
Grumppaâs not impressed.
But he is amused. Because every time the internet reinvents itself, it somehow manages to look exactly like the last version â just with more subscriptions.
Now if youâll excuse me, Iâm going to go yell at a cloud. Not the weather kind â the AWS kind. They deserve it.
Oh, and yeah, AI helped me write this….
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